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No News Is Good News – Opting Out of Daily Mass News Media (4/07/08)
Laurie Israel
I admit it. I was a newspaper addict. A three-paper-a-day addict. Mornings before leaving for work, there was the Boston Globe, followed by The New York Times. These took an hour of my time. Then after work, the local afternoon daily, The Patriot Ledger. Mine was a seven-day-a-week habit, with Sunday mornings spent luxuriating in the extra time to peruse my Sunday papers.
Fear of Funny: A Mediator’s Guide to Losing It (3/31/08)
Eva Zimet
What does conflict management have to do with comedy? A lot, it turns out. To be funny, to elevate another person (or, say, a large audience) one has to be present and very much in tune with the other. A merging of sorts takes place. A shift from pity to pathos takes place. A shift from separation to unification takes place.
Send lawyers, guns and mediators: what songs would be on your mediation playlist? (1/28/08)
Diane J. Levin
On the ABA Journal Daily News web site, the Question of the Week asks “Which Songs Would You Choose for a Lawyer’s Playlist?”
A few of the usual suspects are suggested, including “Lawyers, Guns and Money” by the immortal Warren Zevon.
In time for Friday and the weekend, here’s a proposed playlist for mediators. (And no, “Kumbaya” does not make the cut. Not on my list, pal.)
- Walk a Mile in My Shoes, Joe South
- We Can Work It Out, John Lennon and Paul McCartney
- Put Down That Weapon, Midnight Oil
- (What’s So Funny) ‘Bout Peace, Love and Understanding, written by Nick Lowe and performed by Elvis Costello
- Why Can’t We Be Friends, War
- Let’s Work Together, Canned Heat
And, of course, INXS’s “Mediate“:
What’s on your mediator’s playlist?
Last Week's Impasse (12/17/07)
Geoff Sharp
An impasse had developed, the mediation was grid locked.
As many had before him, the mediator hesitated outside the door and sucked in as much oxygen as he could from the stuffy hallway before turning the knob to the defense breakout room.
They were an unhappy bunch. The tiredness showed. The room smelt.
Funny, the mediator thought, how the parties always tire long before the mediator. Maybe because it's their money he mused.
They looked up at him, expecting some simple break-through moment. There was none.
But what he had to say was simple.
'We need more money... it's the last time I'll ask, promise'
The female defense lawyer responded with a hurt smirk 'If you want to see my underwear I need to know there's a proposal of marriage coming'
There was and she nailed it.
They were an unhappy bunch. The tiredness showed. The room smelt.
Funny, the mediator thought, how the parties always tire long before the mediator. Maybe because it's their money he mused.
They looked up at him, expecting some simple break-through moment. There was none.
But what he had to say was simple.
'We need more money... it's the last time I'll ask, promise'
The female defense lawyer responded with a hurt smirk 'If you want to see my underwear I need to know there's a proposal of marriage coming'
There was and she nailed it.
Thanks for the punch line Peter J. MacKeigan, Q.C
Some Mediation Expectations and Musings (8/27/07)
David Karp
After more than 1,200 hours of actual time at the mediation table, and without apology for over simplification, I share with you some of my (perhaps naive) musings about others’ expectations in mediation. A candid discussion before the mediation between lawyer and client and even between lawyer and mediator may help to manage these expectations.
Green Eggs & Ham And Other Creative Strategies For Effective Mediation (8/27/07)
Joe Epstein
Do your mediation statements have the same punch, rhythm, humor, repetition, alliterations and power that are found in Dr. Seuss' book? Have you even considered using this ageless children's book as a measuring stick for you mediation statements? Do you draft your mediation statements to get the attention of your opponent and the mediator? Do you dramatically and emphatically convey information? Do you use humor and charm in the mediation statement and at the mediation? Do you use persuasive tools to influence your opponent and the mediator? Figure out how to make the complex simple. Figure out how to make the voluminous concise. Like Dr. Seuss create a hook or theme and sell it in your mediation statement and at your mediation.
A Good Laugh (8/06/07)
John Windmueller
Creative Thinker: John W. Cooley Interview (8/06/07)
Gini Nelson
John W. Cooley, former United States Attorney, Senior Staff Attorney for the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit, and partner in a Chicago law firm, is featured in the current issue of Engaging Conflicts Today. His most recent article at Mediate.com is “The Joke Model Of Creative Thinking.” The article got five stars from Robert Benjamin, who declared about it, “The creativity and quality of thought are obvious.” If you would like a copy of his interview, and are not signed up for the newsletter (which you can do in the sidebar on the right!), email me at gn@gnconflictmanagement.com with Jack Cooley in the subject line and I’ll email it to you.
Jack’s article highlights the active role the joke or mediation recipient plays in cognitively processing the “punchline” of the joke or mediation, the “new information” that can be funny or cause an “ah ha!” moment, or fall flat on its face.
Rapid Transition from Reptilian Brain to Neo-Cortex or Mediation - Laughter is the Best Medicine (12/04/06)
Cate Bozarth
The poem is an attempt to articulate the physiology of anger and how clients can be hijacked by their internal chemistry. Negotiating with them while they are in this state is futile as they cannot shift into their higher consciousness until the bio-chemical peptide onslaught passes. That's the theory anyway.
A Somewhat Alphabetical Dictionary of Conflict Resolution Terms, Theories and Hypothetical Constructs (11/20/06)
Trip Barthel
With apologies from an author who wonders if we take ourselves to seriously at time. And asks that you share your comments if you have something nice to say!
Reflections of a Mediator (10/23/06)
Sharon Pickett
Create an environment,
Set the right tone,
Help folks to know
That they’re not alone.
Join with your clients,
Reassure fear,
Know where you’re going,
Make the path clear.
. . .
The ‘Truthiness’ Virus Has Infected The Conflict Management Field (9/11/06)
Robert Benjamin
‘Truthiness’--- spell check does not yet recognize the word--- is that quality of a statement, or pontification, that because it feels and sounds right is presumed and presented to be the truth. ‘Truthiness,’ as Steven Colbert (The Colbert Report) regularly observes in his biting satire of overly botoxed and perfectly coiffed media journalists in general, and twaddle spewing pundits in particular, has become the coin of the realm.
How the Quest Was Done (8/20/06)
Gary Weiner
Being a thrilling, spellbinding but true story right out of the wild west of a California mediation followed by some musings for mediators on the meaning of the story by the mediator himself, Gary Weiner.
All Things Considered (6/19/06)
Kevin Forrester All things considered, then, is a comfortable lie, a euphemism, that enables us to live our daily lives. Until we go to mediation.
The Temple of Hope : A Parable for Mediators (5/08/06)
Evan Ash
Sometimes a parable can say more about something in a few words and bring more clarity and understanding than an academic explanation. I had an occasion to conduct a refresher course on the basics for a group of university workplace volunteer mediators. Such a parable became the foundation for this discussion. I expressed it both verbally and visually: mediation is like a temple.
I think I am successful, but am I significant? (7/25/05)
Geoff Sharp
The first entry in a series of occasional Dear Diary postings by New Zealand mediator, Geoff Sharp, designed to highlight those lonely mediator moments . . .
Another Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Resolution (8/30/04)
Carl J. Debevec
Since this column opened several months ago, there have been a number of good and thoughtful comments received and added, and a few humorous observations made and noted. Also some jokes. Readers are invited to submit the stories of their own humorous encounters and experiences, with comment on how they may have facilitated the process. We recommend that names and situations be modified as necessary to protect the identity of the parties and to honor the confidentiality agreement.
The Joke Model Of Creative Thinking (8/02/04)
John Cooley
The two basic principles of achieving creative results are: (1) conflict or incongruity of some type precedes all creative results; and (2) conflict or incongruity resolution, involving the application of creativity, is the process which produces creative results. The structure of a standard joke offers a clear illustration of these principles.
Humor In Mediation Section Editorial (4/05/04)
Carl J. Debevec
With credit to Mark Twain, the human race is the only species that has the ability to laugh at itself, or needs to.
A Funny Thing Happened On My Way To Resolution! (2/23/04)
Carl J. Debevec
The thought about humor in mediation came to me when I read a comment made by a disputant on a post-mediation evaluation form. I suggest that the forum for sharing jokes, stories or humorous insights, and debate on the subject be opened for contributors. Mediator.com is a perfect venue for this venture. Add your joke to the comment field at the end of this article.
Mediator Types (1/24/04)
Edward P. Ahrens
A fun and light hearted look into the world of mediation. Are you one of these?
Andy Griffith: TV Land Mediator (8/11/03)
Paula Young The Andy Griffith episode of “A Feud is a Feud” tells a folksy tale about the challenges a mediator faces and the techniques he uses to help parties resolve disputes.
The Elephant (9/30/02)
Edward P. Ahrens
We are reminded of the story of the three blind men who were asked to touch an elephant and then describe it. Each man approached the huge animal in a different area, and, as expected, each one described it in a different manner. Mediation is like an elephant.
Using Improvisation to Develop Conflict Resolution Skills (10/16/01)
Debra Gerardi
How to teach the skills of listening and agreement can be challenging. It is important to “show” and not “tell” students the skills of listening, intuiting, and problem solving. The use of improvisation games can facilitate the training process and help mediators, negotiators and parties in “Getting to Yes, And…”
Developing Creativity and Intuition for Resolving Conflicts: The Magic of Improvisation (9/03/01)
Debra Gerardi
All mediators are improvisers. The skills required to be a good mediator are identical to the skills necessary for improvisation. Developing these skills enhances a mediator's creativity and intuition- tools that come in handy for breaking impasse and fostering agreement. This article outlines the skills necessary for developing creativity and intuition through improvisation.
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